Doesn’t Anyone at Home Love You?

That question slices right to the heart, doesn’t it?

A close friend of mine who leads a company was consistently working really long hours. One night, as he was rushing from one “priority” to the next, he ran into a long-time client named Ron. Ron, who had retired from a successful career and was now in his late 70s, always had a big bright smile and a joke for anyone who would listen. That day he delivered a really hard message through his smile.

“You sure work a lot of hours,” Ron said to my friend, “Every time I’m here, no matter what hour, you’re here.”

My friend was in a rush and quickly replied, “Yeah, lots to do, Ron!” and kept walking.

“Doesn’t anyone at home love you?” Ron asked.

My friend stopped walking. He wasn’t sure he heard correctly. “Pardon?”

“I said, doesn’t anyone at home love you? It’s way past dinner time.”

That simple question changed my friend forever.

It took a re-frame for him to understand this wasn’t about him. It wasn’t about what his business needed. It was about the choices he was making in life and what he was prioritizing.

Of course, his wife and kids had complained that he was never home for dinner, was always late, and would have to squeeze in time with them before bed. But in that moment, he realized that over time, they had stopped complaining and just went on with their lives. Without him.

He DID have people at home who loved him. They DID want him home. He was choosing to ignore their needs and ultimately turning away their love.

Sometimes leaders need a reminder that they are in charge of how they manage their time both inside and outside of business hours. More and more leaders are creating boundaries to ensure they spend time maintaining and growing relationships with family and friends, which is good for the soul and overall wellness.

It’s also great role modelling for others within the organization. If CEOs make it known that their meetings can’t go past 5:30pm so they are able to be home for dinner, they set a tone within the company and it shows conviction to their personal values.

CEOs have an immense influence on the culture of their organization. One small step that can improve the culture immediately is by respecting employees’ “off” time. Emailing or calling consistently in the evenings or weekends with expectations of an answer, or expecting your people to work throughout their vacation, takes away from their personal time and frankly, is incredibly arrogant and uncompassionate.

As a leader, it’s important to realize that your circumstance is different from every other person’s in the organization:

1) You’re the CEO. No one should be expected to keep up with your hours if they’re unreasonable.

2) Where you prioritize your time is a personal choice. Others may have different perspectives and different needs.

3) Whether you realize it or not, your people watch your every move. Every word and every action sends a signal about how you value your people.

Regardless of your views on this, someone in your life loves and needs you. You deserve their love and they deserve your time.